AFP Warns China: Maybe Our Aircraft Are So Stealthy You Can’t Detect Them

Philippine Air Force uncertain if such aircraft are in their inventory or not; says ‘maybe they’re so stealthy even we can’t find them.’

(Manila) Amid rising tensions between the Republic of the Philippines (PHL) and the People’s Republic of China (CHN) over territorial disputes at the Spratly Islands, a high-ranking officer in the Armed Forces of the Philippines (AFP) warned China yesterday not to underestimate it despite a recent study’s assessment that the AFP is not capable of defending the country from external threats.

“The Chinese seem to think that we present no threat. But they should learn from their own warriors… the NINJA… maybe our aircraft simply possess a level of stealth technology that makes it impossible for the Chinese to detect them.” said Brigadier General Arnulfo Yuson of the AFP Intelligence Security Group.

Ninjas are legendary warriors from Japan (not China) known for their stealth and figure predominantly in Japanese folklore and legend.

A study by The Jamestown Foundation in 2007 placed the AFP as the weakest military in terms of being able to defend the country from external threats. The report specifically cited the inadequacy of the Philippine Navy and Philippine Coastguard but experts in the country have also pointed to the Philippine Air Force’s inability to maintain air superiority within its territory.

Meanwhile the AFP Public Information Office was quick to clarify that Yuson was not speaking in any official capacity.

“We would like to categorically state that we have no stealth aircraft. And reiterate that we have no power armor, super soldiers, mind control projects or anything like that. Please stop making this shit up because this constant rumor-mongering is getting in the way of my angry birds time.” said Colonel Ramon de Juan of the AFP Public Information Office

Earlier today Yuson responded to the AFP Public Information Statement via SMS to the Maligno Sentinel:

“I expected them to say that. If we did have stealth aircraft would we admit it in public? Of course not. A real ninja knows the art of invisibility.”

The Philippine Air Force seems to be the most confused over the issue.

“As of now we are doing an inventory because we are not sure if we do have these stealth aircraft General Yuson is talking about. The primary concern right now is to find these alleged aircraft before people bump into them and hurt themselves. Let’s say it’s classified information for now.” said Major General Benito Gulay of the PAF’s 30th Air Defense Wing.

The PAF currently has no aircraft designated as fighters by international standards.