The Top 11 Most Dangerous Things in the Philippines Part II

We return with the amazing conclusion to The Top 11 Most Dangerous Things in the Philippines! This week we reveal the five most dangerous things.

#05. China

The only thing worse than poking a bear with a stick is poking it with your bare hand. While Chinese incursions into Philippine territory are unlikely to go beyond the disputed islands in the South China Sea, it isn’t reassuring to know that the Philippines neither has a navy nor an air force capable of defending its territory against the People’s Liberation Army (PLA) of China.

Worse, the PLA probably has more soldiers (a total of 350,000,000 of its citizens are fit for active service should China need them) than the AFP has bullets.

 

#04. Imelda Marcos

In her recent interview with Yahoo! News, Imelda Marcos admitted that she would happily have more shoes if she could. Considering what happened the last time the former first lady wanted shoes it might be prudent to keep an eye on her. It was comforting to think that the EDSA People Power Revolution had ended the Marcos Regime for good but after over 200 members of congress signed a resolution petitioning the burial of former President Ferdinand Marcos at the Libingan ng mga Bayani one cannot help but be concerned.

Imelda might not be a threat herself, but the apparent idiocy of these members of the House of Representatives is worrisome.

 

#03 Catholic Bishops of the Philippines

While the CBCP can be credited with appropriately warning the Filipino people against the threats of reproductive health, gay marriages, and divorce—Filipino bishops have also been quite rabid in their crusades against seemingly arbitrary things like McDonald’s French Fries and presidential promises to end graft and corruption.

Lately they’ve even started attacking each other which makes you wonder what they plan to attack next. Maybe apples? Bottled water? Fun runs? The color blue?! Nobody knows and it’s fucking scary!

 

#02 Not the Armed Forces of the Philippines and not the Philippine National Police

Everyone knows that neither the AFP nor the PNP would never involve itself in extrajudicial killings and enforced disappearances. So neither the AFP nor the PNP are the second most dangerous things in the Philippines.

 

#01 The Reproductive Health Bill

If the CBCP is correct, and according to the CBCP they always are, the passing of the RH Bill will effectively legitimize the murder of unborn children and allow killer attack condoms to unleash death and destruction upon the civilian populace.

It might also open the flood gates to ‘kadiri’ gay marriages and allow battered women from divorcing their abusive husbands thereby destroying the marriages of everyone in the universe!

Scary times ahead.