Holy Spirit Suspected of Sabotaging RH Bill Plenary Debates

(Manila ) The highly-anticipated plenary debates on the controversial Reproductive Health Act and Population and Development Act of 2010 were halted yesterday as the centralized air conditioning system of the House of Representatives bogged down.

The strange incident has led to accusations of sabotage from both sides of the debate.

“It can only be the Holy Spirit,” Pampanga Rep. Vicente Guzman said in a text message Tuesday, “Who else would have the ninja skills and vampire stealth to accomplish this kind of sabotage?”

“I never said we were always right, I just said we always win.”

Earlier this week Manila Archbishop Gaudencio Cardinal Rosales came out with a statement saying that the Catholic Church would prevail in the RH Bill conflict:

“The Church has never lost,” Cardinal Rosales said, “The Church always wins.”

When pressed on the historicity of his statement the cardinal replied: “I never said we were always right, I just said we always win. In the 17th Century the Church had a feeling Galileo was right, but we won that shit anyway didn’t we?”

To add confusion to the scene even RH Bill proponents expressed doubt that the Church or the Holy Spirit could be responsible for the A/C debacle.

“I disagree that it could only have been the Holy Spirit,” La Union Rep. Pepe Nortemio said in response to Guzman’s Tuesday SMS, “Off the top of my head I can name half a dozen possible suspects with considerable ninja skills and vampire stealth.”

Batman, the Predator, Sam Fisher and Zeratul have been some of the names mentioned as potential alternative suspects.

For most, though, it has been a question of motive and none of the others mentioned seem to have anything to gain from stopping the RH Bill debates from commencing.

The Holy Spirit could not be reached for comment as of this article’s posting.

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4 thoughts on “Holy Spirit Suspected of Sabotaging RH Bill Plenary Debates

  1. Your entries on the RH bill are arguably the funniest ones in this site. Love it. Keep up the good work sir/madame!

  2. LOL, this is at the same time blasphemous AND extolling the Holy Spirit’s qualities! You win twelve internets sir!

  3. It COULD be the Holy Ghost… I mean, if the room is cold, how can you scare people with a sudden drop in temperature or a gust of cold wind that seemingly comes from nowhere? You’d notice these more in war enclosed spaces.

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