CBCP Survey Says 9 of 10 Filipinos Oppose RH Bill

(Manila) Following its announcement that it will hold the ‘grandmother of all RH rallies’ on 25 March 2011, the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) released the results of a survey it conducted which reveals that 9 out of every 10 Filipinos are opposed to the controversial Reproductive Health Bill.

“Our findings reveal that 9 out of 10 Filipinos are actually against it,” said Msgr. Pepe Figeroa in a press conference Friday afternoon, “Not only that, we also found that only 3 out of every 10 Filipinos are in favor of the RH bill and that 3 out of  those  3 who are in favor of it are going to hell.”

The figures presented by the CBCP have led to doubts regarding their research methodology.

“How can 9 out of 10 be against the RH bill if 3 out of 10 are for it?” FEU professor Dante Mallari said in an interview on DZRQ.

Other questions were also raised on the program relating to sampling, mode of administration and the nature of the questions asked which led to the CBCP’s conclusions.

A statement issued on the official site of the CBCP  today reads:

“Professor Mallari and those others who doubt our survey cannot possibly understand our methodology. We do not fully understand it either but this is the nature of divine will sometimes.”

(Updated 7:28am)

A source from the CBCP who wishes to remain anonymous has revealed a few details that explain the seemingly confusing facts of yesterday’s CBCP survey.

“Our raw survey data actually showed that more people are in favor of the RH Bill but through our faith and prayers it was revealed to us that these are just people who think they are in favor of it when deep down… in a place they cannot access… because of their sinful nature… they are really against the RH Bill.”

The anonymous source refused to comment if the Holy Spirit or any angel was part of the methodology.

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6 thoughts on “CBCP Survey Says 9 of 10 Filipinos Oppose RH Bill

  1. Numbers can indeed lie. The reason, dear Watson, is methodology. Firstly, the survey was conducted after mass where those who participated were threatened excommunication if their replies were not acceptable. Secondly, respondents were checked by psychiatrists and only “manangs” and schizos were allowed to participate. Anybody with more than two children was disqualified. Thirdly, the results were tabulated by members of the Ayala Alabuang barangay council. There…

  2. I believe I may be one of those people who is really against the rh bill but I just don’t know it. Kudos to the CBCP for knowing my heart more than me.

  3. “Our raw survey data actually showed that more people are in favor of the RH Bill but through our faith and prayers it was revealed to us that these are just people who think they are in favor of it when deep down… in a place they cannot access… because of their sinful nature… they are really against the RH Bill.”

    >> This quote… I have no idea whether I would laugh or cry at its idiocy

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