(Earth) In an open letter to the human race, the planet Earth signified yesterday its contempt for the event known as Earth Hour.

“Please stop using my name for this self-serving event you call Earth Hour. I do not need saving. As a matter of fact I’m doing fine.” said the planet Earth in its letter.

The Earth was very specific in pointing out that the biosphere upon which all living things on the planet exist is just a minor part of its composition and that it didn’t need life to keep on existing.

“I’ll be fine even if all the species on me die out. I saw Mars the other year and he said not having life on him was fine. Oh and by the way, stop fucking calling me ‘Mother Earth’ because I’m a dude.” the Earth’s letter continued.

The scientific community seems to be unanimous in its agreement on the subject.

“It’s true, the Earth doesn’t need life to keep on existing. We could die out and it’ll keep doing its thing without batting an eye.” said Professor Jobe McAllum of the Georgia State University Astronomy Program.

The World Wide Fund for Nature, the organizers of Earth Hour, have since been rushing to change the name of the event before it begins at 8:30pm on 26 March 2011.

‘Darkness Hour’, ‘Sex Hour’, and ‘Annoy-My-Neighbor-By-Turning-Every-Appliance-On Hour’ are leading contenders in a poll on its website.

In the Philippines, organizers have given up on the goal altogether and decided it will host a city-wide game of taguan (hide and go seek) instead.