Willie Revillame Linked to ABS·CBN-AFP Mind Control Project

(Manila) As local network ABC TV5 came under considerable flak following an untoward incident in one of its shows involving Willie Revillame, a highly credible source from rival network ABS-CBN came out earlier this week claiming that the controversial host was part of a secret project run by both ABS-CBN and the AFP.

“The point was to make it possible to influence people deliberately and willfully through a mass media device such as television.” said the source. “As such we had to choose a person who had no talent, no charisma, no moral fiber and see if we could make people like him.”

Documents presented by the source reveal a project called OPLAN ‘HUMANAP KA NG PANGET’ which was initially designed to make females fall for an ugly man without the use of money or fancy toys. Allegedly, OPLAN ‘HUMANAP KA NG PANGET’ was later revised to simply make audiences like a host who had no redeeming qualities.

“If you look at Willie he hasn’t really changed since 1998. He’s still ugly, crude, crass, cheap, stupid, misogynistic, transparent, perverse and simply unlikeable. But we made people like him.” said the source.

According to the source, the project started in 1998 when Willie Revillame started working in the noontime show ‘Magandang Tanghali Bayan’ (MTB) and concluded shortly before Revillame’s stint with ABS-CBN ended in 2010.

“By 2008 the project had become unwieldly because Willie actually thought he was charismatic. But we kept at it because you can just imagine what a network can do with such technology. I even heard GMA started working on their own version with Richard Gutierrez but obviously they didn’t have the partner we had in the AFP.” continued the source.

The AFP has already denied that any such project ever existed. A few weeks ago rumors of a secret project involving super soldier and power armor development were also linked to the AFP.

“We are not working on a mind control project of any sort,” said Colonel Ramon de Juan of the AFP Public Information Office. “We are not in the business of conducting secret projects… as a matter of fact we are more likely to say we’re conducting such projects to get funding and then just pocket the cash.”

When asked about the surprising success of Revillame, de Juan simply said:

“Sometimes the world likes assholes. That’s not mind control… that’s just sad.”

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