FM Declares Martial Law

Detains Tens of Thousands, Tortures and Kills Thousands, Loans Billions of Dollars, Pockets Billions of Dollars, is Ousted, Dies, Remains Unburied, is Refrigerated, and Our Congressmen Are Idiots

(Manila) Citing the need to defend the state from a clear and present danger emanating from a communist threat, President Ferdinand Marcos declared 14,706 days ago that he had placed the entire country under Matial Law.

“As of the 21st of this month, I signed proclamation 1081 placing the entire Philippines under martial law.” said Marcos over a television broadcast on 23 September 1972.

Since then he has detained political prisoners without warrants, due process, or trials in the tens of thousands. Reports of torture and extrajudicial killings have also come to light numbering in the thousands.

Meanwhile the country’s external debt has also risen under Marcos’ dictatorship from $599M (representing the total debt incurred between 1946-1965; covering the terms of five presidents) to $26B when his term ended. The five presidents who followed Marcos have incurred a collective amount of $33B as well which means the esteemed dictator is responsible for about half the country’s current debt.

Most of that money may have been pocketed by Marcos’ cronies as huge segments of the economy fell into their hands.

“After the termination of the parity rights in ’74 and where multinationals had to leave the country and could not own more than 50%, this had to be assigned to Filipinos, yan yung tinatawag nilang cronies pero kung cronies man yan Pilipino… hindi foreign cronies.” said First Lady Imelda Marcos.

In response, civil society came together in EDSA to oust Marcos after allowing the dictator to stay in power for over 21 years. Everyone seemed to agree this was a good thing.

Seemingly contrary to everything that is good, rational, sensible and correct; more than 200 congressmen from the House of Representatives have signed a resolution late last month asking the administration to consider allowing the deceased and refrigerated former president to be interred where the country’s heroes are allowed their final rest.

“I don’t see anything wrong with me authoring this resolution since I am proudly a Marcos crony,” Representative Salvador Escudero III did not say, “I am just glad the other representatives have no sense of history and are too stupid to know right from wrong.”

Escudero served as Marcos’ agricultural minister from 1984 to 1986.

“It’s true,” said Isabela Representative Bambi Lipuyog, ” We have no sense of history and most of the time we just sign shit here at the house of representatives. It’s funny because I believe in the spirit of EDSA but I also believe in the spirit of Martial Law. Why can’t I love both?”

Related News:

193 Solons Push for Hero’s Burials for All Marcoses, Living and Dead

Imelda Unveils More Marcos Medals

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