NBI Warns Fushigi Fuma Ley Ar Cult Back in the Country

PHL ‘especially vulnerable’ after Space Sheriff Shaider death in 2001. PNP concerned Annie may have abandoned Vavilos to become an adult film star.

(Manila) More than the radioactive threat from the nuclear crisis facing Japan, the National Bureau of Investigation (NBI) warned today that the entry of certain members of the Fushigi Fuma Ley Ar Cult into the country poses a bigger threat to the safety of Filipinos.

One such member, Hessler, who is more popularly known in the Philippines by his Tagalog dub name ‘Drigo’ was spotted yesterday at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport Terminal 3.

No efforts were made to detain Drigo despite being wanted by both the International Criminal Police Organization (INTERPOL) and the Space Sheriffs (Pulis Pangkalawakan).

A Drigo Wanted Poster from the 1980s when the Fushigi Fuma Ley Ar Cult was a serious threat to national security.

Bureau of Immigration officer Raymund Padilla explained that while suspicious of Drigo they decided to let him go after he identified himself as a drug mule.

“Our instructions are clear. Prevent drug mules from leaving the country. This man was obviously entering the country because I was stationed at arrivals. Arrival means entering the country; not leaving the country.” said Padilla.

The Fushigi Fuma Ley Ar Cult is not new to the Philippines. On numerous occasions in the 1980s the cult threatened national security most notably during the ‘Boom Shigi Shigi Waka Shigi’ dance crisis of 1987 which endangered the fledgeling administration of Corazon Aquino when hypnotized dancing children tried to attack Malacañang.

The last real space sheriff in the country, Shaider, managed to vanquish the cult’s leader Fuma Ley Ar but Shaider has since died in 2001 while the cult has seen a resurgence in the past five years. Subsequent space sheriffs have been found to be frauds who can’t even do a decent fight scene and had horribly choreographed moves.

“We have been asking for a new space sheriff since 2001 but there has been no response from their mobile headquarters on the Vavilos.” said Philippine National Police (PNP) Public Information Officer P S/Supt. Danilo Benitez. “Presently, we are worried that the rumors about Annie abandoning her post to become an adult film star are true.”

Drigo was last seen wearing black armor including a tall helm lined with red. Any information regarding his whereabouts may be forwarded to the PNP.

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3 thoughts on “NBI Warns Fushigi Fuma Ley Ar Cult Back in the Country

  1. baka naman pwedeng tawagin na lang sila darna at capt barbell kung wala na talaga si shaider. BLUE FLASH!

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