MMDA Bans Ultimate Planking in Metro Manila

“This win is for those who didn’t make it… I’m sure you guys are lying face down in the clouds, looking down at me…”

(Manila) The Metropolitan Manila Development Authority (MMDA) announced Monday that it has effected a total ban on the lying down game known as “planking.”

This comes after dozens of players were killed in an extreme version of the game last Sunday afternoon along both northbound and southbound lanes of Circumferential Road 5 (C-5).

The game consists of lying face down, much like a human plank, in unusual locales. The extreme version, also known as “ultimate planking,” requires dozens of players lying down across a wide avenue. Players are eliminated either by getting run over or by getting up out of fear.

“We know it sounds crazy but you can never understand it until you’ve tried it. What’s the point of living if you don’t feel alive?” Philippine Ultimate Planking League (PUPL) President James Cerrano said.

“Those people who died playing the game are more alive than the haters who’d rather be safe in life.” Cerrano continued.

Last Sunday, seventy ultimate plankers lined up to cover all lanes of a blind curve along C-5 until at least two dozen of them were run over by vehicles.

Bimbo Paredes was declared the winner after runners-up Cynthia Maligsi and Peter Haraña were forced to quit after being partially run over by a sixteen-wheeler truck.

“I gave it my best… 110%…” Paredes said.

Paredes later dedicated his win to the dozens who died during the game.

“This win is for those who didn’t make it… I’m sure you guys are lying face down in the clouds, looking down at me…” the winner said.

The City of Taguig is set to pass an ordinance banning the game in its area. Meanwhile, the MMDA has already set a ban on the game on roads under its jurisdiction.

The PUPL has expressed its intent to challenge the MMDA on the basis of its jurisdiction over the said roads.

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2 thoughts on “MMDA Bans Ultimate Planking in Metro Manila

    1. Haha, didn’t know this was a fake news article posted in the Fake News category until I read it again, lol. Got me there. First time reading this blog. Very entertaining and brilliant. Nice work. New fan here.

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