WikiLeaked CIA Cable Says Jejemons Most Likely Extraterrestrial in Origin

(TMS) No less than the United States’ Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) came to the conclusion that the mysterious species known as Jejemons are most likely not from this world according to a communication sent by the agency in 2007.

“They appear human but the evidence at hand reveals otherwise. It is the frank assessment of our operatives that these extraterrestrials may be the biggest threat to the United States at present and that it is necessary to induce a decline in their population as rapidly as possible.” the CIA cable said.

The Department of Environment and Natural Resources (DENR) has expressed concern over the possibility that the CIA may be behind the rapid decline in Jejemon numbers which saw the species placed under Critically Imperiled (G1) status.

“No one likes Jejemons but that’s no excuse to kill them, otherwise we should start by exterminating dolphins because everyone knows they’re pure evil.” DENR Deputy Director Pablo Domingo said.

The DENR’s Protected Areas and Wildlife Management Bureau has been herding Jejemons into a nature preserve in Palawan since 2008.

 

Related News:

DENR Begins Jejemon Conservation Program

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