Maligno Sentinel Bemoans Lack of Idiocy in the Past Few Weeks

(TMS) The Maligno Sentinel decried early Monday the unusually low levels of stupidity observed in the past few weeks. The scarcity has led to a decline in news items and is particularly troubling according to satirists all over the country.

“What people don’t understand is that we don’t invent the stupidity featured in our news articles. We are completely dependent on the idiocy of our politicians, celebrities, bureaucrats and other personalities.” Maligno Sentinel Commander-and-Editor-in-Chief Tikbalang said.

Imbecility and nonsense have always been among the Philippines’ greatest natural resources and the recent scarcity is a rare occasion.

“The last time we had levels of stupidity this low was in September of 2009 but that was because of Ondoy.” Idiocy Indexing Institute (I³) Director James Magpalit said.

Experts have expressed concern that the current supply problem might lead Filipinos to believe that the government and other organizations might be getting smarter.

“If this continues, people will think government actually has brains. When that happens, they will expect actual governance.” Magpalit explained.

Professor Pedro Abrigo of the Philippine National State University of the Philippines (PNSUP) pointed out that the problem could become much worse than higher expectations.

“Most people think that our country’s woes can be attributed to two main things, incompetence and corruption. If our people start to believe that our politicians are not as stupid as they thought, they will begin to think the problem is more of a corruption issue. Stupidity is forgivable; corruption may not be.” Abrigo said.

Meanwhile, the editorial staff of The Maligno Sentinel could only express hope that the coming week will be better.

“We hope our country’s politicans and other people of interest will step up this week. Maybe our president can buy something nice and expensive, or some issue will require Senator Tito Sotto or Representative Mikey Arroyo to give an interview.  Even classics like former First Lady Imelda Marcos, former President Estrada and the CBCP are welcome to contribute at this point. We are waiting… we believe in you.” Tikbalang said.

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