“The main idea is to create an even bigger conflict in the Visayas region so that people forget about the conflict in Mindanao.”
(Manila) Proving its ability to think outside the realm of logic, the House of Representatives passed a resolution Monday afternoon urging the president to conduct military operations against the people of the Visayas region.
The resolution comes in the middle of heated debates over increasing tension in Mindanao as casualties mount on both sides of the conflict between the Armed Forces of the Philippines (AFP) and the Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF).
“The main idea is to create an even bigger conflict in the Visayas region so that people forget about the conflict in Mindanao.” Bulacan Representative Leon Florentino II said.
Supporters of the resolution cited the boldness and ingenuity of the plan as the main reason for their agreeing to sign it.
“It’s just so crazy it might work.” Masbate Representative Jorge Aurelio said.
“I signed what?!” Cebu Representative Milagros San Francisco said.
According to the authors of the resolution, the main problem in trying to create conflict in the Visayas region will be how to anger the population to the point of armed resistance.
“It’s not a conflict if the Visayans don’t fight back.” Florentino II told reporters.
So far two solutions have been proposed: the bombing of hospitals, universities and schoolhouses in the Visayas and the banning of indigenous dialects from use in the region.
Malacañang has yet to comment on the resolution.