MMDA to Introduce Idiot Lane on EDSA Beginning Tuesday

Meanwhile the Land Transportation Office (LTO) declined to comment on concerns regarding the issue of their testing protocols for obtaining licenses producing masses of idiot drivers but released a brief statement on the matter which simply said: “Yes.”

(Manila) The Metropolitan Manila Development Authority (MMDA) announced in a press conference late Monday afternoon that a dedicated idiot lane will be implemented along EDSA beginning Tuesday.

The new lane will be placed adjacent to the yellow lane dedicated for Public Utility Vehicles (PUV) and will be designated as a red lane dedicated to motorists who are deemed “incompetent but licensed drivers.” MMDA Spokesman Rene Abenito said during the press conference.

Abenito reassured the public that only motorists who display a prodigious capacity for idiocy on the road will be tagged with red stickers. The MMDA spokesman also explained that the measure is intended to accomplish two objectives:

“Of course, first we would like to create a space for regular, conscientious, law-abiding drivers. But secondly, we are hoping the idiot drivers will annihilate each other through sheer incompetence on the road which we hope will lead to vehicular accidents. Of course we are hoping against fatalities but debilitating physical or emotional trauma would be nice.” Abenito said.

Critics of the new measure have been vocal about their concerns.

“Of course everyone wants better traffic conditions in the city. But what if your car was tagged with this red sticker while you weren’t operating it? And are these stickers tamper proof? The implementation measures are too rushed and shady so I have my reservations.” Superintendent Felipe Carlos III of the Philippine National Police Highway Patrol Group’s (PNP-HPG) Police Community Relations Division said.

Other groups have also expressed disapproval such as the Basta Driver Sweet Lover Club (BDSLC), an organization for frequent traffic offenders.

“Hindi tunay na lalake ang sumusunod sa batas trapiko. Kaya nga tayo ang pinakamagagaling na drayber at tsuper sa mundo dahil sa gulo ng mga kalye natin… tatanggalin pa nila yun?” BDSLC President Ruel Vergel said.

(“Real men do not obey traffic laws. We have some of the best drivers and chauffeurs in the world because of how chaotic our streets are… and they want to take that out?”)

Still, other groups point to the overlooked issue of granting licenses to masses of incompetent drivers.

“The question we should be asking is ‘how do incompetent drivers get licenses in the first place?’ If the LTO does its job then there would be considerably less idiot drivers on the road.” Director John Malampas of the transportation consulting firm Brewer and James said.

The MMDA has since released an response to Carlos’ concerns through their official website stating: “Vehicle owners are responsible for their cars whether they are operating the vehicles themselves or not. And only idiots lend their cars to idiots… so by associative property you are idiot if your car is caught being driven by an idiot.”

Meanwhile the Land Transportation Office (LTO) declined to comment on concerns regarding the issue of their testing protocols for obtaining licenses producing masses of idiot drivers but released a brief statement on the matter which simply said: “Yes.”

The MMDA estimates that at least 60% of motorists currently driving in the National Capital Region are either idiots. The agency to bring this percentage down to as low as 40% early 2012.

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One thought on “MMDA to Introduce Idiot Lane on EDSA Beginning Tuesday

  1. Look friends fvrigoe friends .I just hate to see you struggle, get hurt, get upset, but most of all I just hate to see you sad. I wish I could delete all the bad out of your life but I can’t. All I can do is offer you some good may not be much but don’t want you to feel like you are alone in this cruel world. I fvrigoe you!!!!!! Sometimes idiots are the best kind of friends you could and can have. So what is my point ..I still care for my friend the freaking idiot.Your friend,Emotional baggage girl

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